Fliey and Spidey

Dangles the spider in the air,

The flies buzz around without a care.

Lands the spider on the ground,

Now with excitement, the flies jump around.

Evil thoughts in Mr. Spidey's head,

Flies equals food, it's appettite's whet.

The flies unaware show-off their jazz,

Oh flies have a care! But they just say, “Shut up, you ass!”

Bold little Fliey gets very close

to bad tempered Mr. Spidey's nose.

Spidey's gone without food for more than a day,

And here is this juicy fly popping right into his way!

Pleased Mr. Spidey doesn't move a hair,

No sign of a twitch, this gives Fliey some more dare.

It itches to touch Mr. Spidey's back,

It lunges forward, it's head must have a crack.

Mr. Spidey bids his chance.

Readies himself without a second glance.

Fly and Spider in mid air meet,

And that's how they for the first time greet.

Little Fliey gets an inking of fear.

“Please!”, it cries out, “Spidey be a dear”.

But evil Spidey opens wide his mouth,

And the other flies stand as still as dead trouts.

Fliey in Spidey's grip!

The other flies scarper helter-skelter,

Now scared, they tumble over each other.

Spidey looks at them with glee,

He's so happy that he wants to pee!

A song the flies sing, an ode to their friend of bold.

Little Fliey's bravery will never go untold.

Though he was brave, it's a lesson for the rest,

Never mess with Spidey, that's what would be best.

Fliey being digested by Spidey! YYUM YUM!

Spidey with his cunning running strong,

He turns and thinks that he can do no wrong.

Just then a human foot alights,

And that's the end of Mr. Spidey's life

The Rajasthan Chronicles-Day 7 (Ranthambhore-Tiger Country Continued...)

Shoved down a quick lunch and set off for our entry into the park in a canter. As usual there was some deliberation and people were being shuffled from one canter to the other. One boy with a girl's name and our sweetest friend was unceremoniously asked to leave our canter much to our dismay. This did much to dampen our mood. And then we set off!!! Super excited at this point of time.

The hill ranges rise up majestically on the right with wide expanses of land and then slowly the landscape turns more rocky with plentiful streams tossing out of some secret place. Vegetation too become denser as one goes deeper and at some places they knot themselves threateningly. It's very dark then and you are reminded that here you are nothing but an outsider. You don't belong here. We were allotted Route 1 and boy the twists and bumps we were subjected too!! The canter surmounted impossible rocks, squeezed itself through the narrowest paths while we remained mute spectators-the landscape was too captivating too elicit any word of protest from us. We were lost back then, the eyes always searching for some sign, some hidden movement, some glistening of the eye-hidden treasures of the forest all. We exclaimed only when someone spotted the deer, sambar and the neelgai. But the tiger remained as elusive as ever. But in the end that really didn't matter. Going inside the park itself was an event for me. The fact of missing a tiger doesn't stir up any charge in me though I would be be the last to deny the fact the that sighting the tiger would rise up my emotions sky high. In other words I would simply be mesmerised and wanting to sigh a sigh that only erupts when the magical wild spell-bounds you and you say-that's beautiful. So this dream has to mark it's time for another day. The tiger will wait for me.

And so we spotted the usual fauna of Rajasthan. Wild boar was and so was the call of the leopard that we heard while on our way out. It silenced the forest into stillness. The langurs on the tree didn't move an inch and then the sambars called out to each other. Something was not right for them. We hung around for a quarter of an hour but lady luck didn't budge to smile at us. The tour guides said that the leopard is going further away from us. Perhaps the leopard sensed the fact the idiotic tourists were waiting to gape at it with mouths hung open. It must have been a long way off before we decided to quit and move.

Evening we drove into town and loitered around. Had dinner at a useless place which thankfully had a television. Had a good time pulling faces at my class-mates. After dinner I was with a friend in her room. She was not keeping well and we both were sitting just yapping. That is when we heard terrible banging anf laughing erupting from the corridors. One of tour senior's had been locked into her room by the hotel staff and she was banging the door from inside. The other girls were outside holding the sides and laughing uncontrollably while the hotel boy sped to get the key. And lo! behold! he opened the door to find it empty! Our ever enterprising senior had risen to the job magnificently and had flied the coop! ( read-she had escaped from the bathroom door into her neighbour's room) and while the hotel boy was searching for her, she turned up from behind. The night was just beginning!!!

The infectious atmosphere spread and she decided to dress up as a local with a toy doll and scare our Ma'm who is mortally afraid of appearances like these. The plan was made and the lead actor ready. A black skirt, bangles, heavy payals and a dupatta covered her fhead and face. The doll completed her outfit. She was sneaked into our Ma'ms room and the lights were switched off. All was calm and quiet on the front. And then-out came the scream and alongwith it our Ma'm running out of her room with her hands over her ears. She was bone-scared by this apparition which called to her from the bathroom in the dark. And then out came the monster tumbling with tears of mirth. It was most hilarious. Ma'm recoverd enough to give us all a spanking on our butts. It was well worth it.

Next morning was again to be a lazy one. Others were catching an early morning canter ride and now much to my chagrin I'm regretting my foolishness of turning down the opportunity.  They spotted a Caracal! I,  however was more intent upon recovering from my illness and wanted a nice bit of morning rest.

On entering our room it looked as if a tornado had swept through it. It was a horrible mess. But we didn't care. I don't remember much now. I think I just plonked onto the bed and was fast asleep.

The Rajasthan Chronicles-Day 1( The train journey)

Seems just like yesterday that I boarded the Pune-Jodhpur Express. I had marked out the train route and had finished fantasizing about the stations that the train would be halting at. Mum had warned me for what seemed like umpteen times, "Don't you go around doing a Jab We Met on the railway stations." I sulkily gave in and scanned the stations from the window.

The train journey was memorable.We didn't have confirmed seats and so 2/3 people shared 1 seat but we didn't even care. Sleeping was the last thing on our minds. We all were just glad to be together. We jabbered away with our neighbours - one old uncle and aunty with awesome child-like enthusiasm about our trip. They were terribly kind and considerate towards all our noise-making activities and cheering and the drop-ins by our friends who were scattered throughout the train.

We started the card games at 11.30 in the night and continued them well past 1 a.m. Most of the time was spent learning one eff-all game called 'Mendikot'. I couldn't for the life of me remember this game though I was nagged by the feeling that I have played this game before. I had 3 friends all giving me explanations and forcing me to listen to them and not to the other person. Really awful. Somehow after what seemed like ages I got the hang of the game and played it well :)

Then I decided to give my wanderings in the train a rest and found an empty berth to sleep on. And oh yes now I remember the biting cold brrrr. I was chilled to my bones and twisted and turned to find a warm spot on the cold berth. Gloves, socks, sweaters, sweat-shirts notwithstanding, the cold made me shiver all through the night.

At 3 a.m. I went to welcome a friend who was to board the train at Surat. It was jolly well good to see her- She had all the tasty grub with her :)

I then found another empty berth after that because the old one was occupied by one surly chap from Surat who cast an annoyed glance at us as soon as he saw us huddled together on one seat. A couple of my friends stayed awake and kept chattering all through the night. They kept up a non-stop chatter and this made the Surat man even more angry. He kept scolding my friends but they didn't seem to care. At around 5 a.m. I was rudely awakened by my friends with the flash of the camera. I joined in the giggling and by this time each and every member of our group was awake giggling and laughing.

The surly Surat man could take it no more and called us the most uneducated bunch of people and that we have studied just too much and so we were keeping up this noisy racket all through the night. I felt he was right. I wouldn't have liked it if I were disturbed when I wanted to sleep. After the mega-scolding he gave us we all promptly went off to sleep and strangely, it was the best sleep ever. We woke up refreshed and the surly Surat man thankfully left.

The rest of the journey was pleasant and was slightly marred by a classmate who tapped my friend on her head, put his finger into my ear and pulled another friend's nose and hugged him. Decided then and there that we have to stay away from this weirdo.

As we neared Jodhpur, we spotted plenty of doves, flamingoes, peafowl, spotted deer and chinkaras. It was a lovely welcome and so exciting to spot them foraging freely beside the tracks. The peacocks trotted with a charming gait and I was mesmerised. For the first time in my life I was seeing them in such huge numbers!!

We reached Jodhpur in the evening and were put up at Beniwal Palace. Dinner was a seedy restaurant called 'Ghar Angan Bhojnalay'. We were busy posing for photographs outside the restaurant and not so very nice men tried to act smart with us. Even while walking back to the hotel some men on bikes tried to upset us-but on hearing our ma'm scream they escaped. Learned that it's not safe to go wandering at night alone. North is really unsafe for girls-even in groups.

Reached the hotel and slept like a log.

Roacher the Roach Ranger!!!!

Well I have one smart and hungry lizard to write about. It's the same lizard that woke me up a couple of days back from my slumber. Today it invited me for tea and snacks!!

I was trying to bang my head against my books in the evening at 4.30 when again the mysterious thudding started. It didn't occur to me that the same lizard was at play. At first I ignored the sound and tried to study but the sound persisted. I had to spring into action. I shifted the wardrobe and Roacher was at work again. (I've named the lizard Roacher) It had just caught a cockroach and this time I was prepared. I lunged for my camera and I photographed the lizard patiently eating the cockroach while the cockroach made desperate bids to escape but to no avail. The jaws of the lizard are really strong. Roacher took 45 minutes to consume the cockroach and now as I write this it is resting benignly at the side of my wardrobe. 

Will upload the entire sequence of pictures tomorrow :)

Lizard's Breakfast!

The morning got off to an interesting start today. I opened my eyes from deep slumber to a sound that seemed as if a bird was trapped and was fluttering it's wings in desperation in a bid to escape. I thought that I was dreaming but when the sound persisted I had to get up and play detective.

I first checked my window to make sure that no bird was trapped there. Pigeons usually visit my window as it gives them a good perch. While I was checking I felt that the sound was coming from inside my wardrobe. I thought that to be very very strange. No bird could land up inside the wardrobe. And curiously enough, the sound seemed to be emanating from way inside the wardrobe. "Ghost bird"- I muttered.

Then I heard loud thuds from the wardrobe. I really thought at this time that the bird is going to die. Then some intelligence visited me and I shifted the wardrobe a little. I was expecting to see a tiny bird there but lo! behold! what a sight awaited me!!

I was shocked and being drowsy, initially I thought it was a snake. After my eyes adjusted to the darkness this is what I made out.

A house-lizard facing vertically downwards with a cockroach halfway into it's mouth!! The lizard banged itself against the wardrobe to push the cockroach into it's mouth. The eyes of the lizard glowed eerily black and then red. I scrambled to get my camera but couldn't capture the sight. After 10 minutes the lizard turned itself vertically upwards and incessantly opened and closed it's mouth. I could see a part of the cockroach coming out and going in.

Anyways my camera started working later and I got a potshot of the lizard now digesting the cockroach.

The lizard is on the back of the wardrobe, the white part is the wall.

Are you going to a Wedding?

Going to weddings is one of the most toughest things to do- for me at least. It's like going to the battle without any arms and ammunition. The most dreaded things are

1) Aunties and Uncles pop over to you and ask ' Did you recognise me?' I have now decided just to grin and bob my head stupidly next time someone asks me this at a wedding. Maybe they'll get dazzled by my smile and forget their question.

2) Aunties and Uncles pop over and exclaim, "My God, how big you have become!" Well what do they expect? Am I supposed to remain 3 feet tall for the rest of my life? Babalog please try to understand, I'm a growing girl :)

3) When photographer gets set to click your picture the troublesome hair just then decides to lash up across your face and you are the only one looking like the evil witch.

4) The cameraman always ends up shooting when you are in embarrassing positions like picking your teeth, dropping food, piling your plate high with food or worse still-picking your nose. Shoot him for Goodness sake.

5) And then there are some dorks who will stare and smile at you from afar just waiting for a chance to hit on you. This is very very sleazy.

6) The restless aunties who can't seem to keep their mouths shut and will keep biting your ear off until you reciprocate in kind and then only to realise that you haven't an inkling as to who the auntie was in the 1st place. Feels undeniably goofy.

7) Having embarrassed myself with one auntie a couple of times I sincerely wished to avoid her the next time I saw her. I begged my sister out of desperation to pretend to be me. Thankfully the auntie didn't mention the incident, just greeted and passed on. Whew.

The 1st incident took place 6 years ago- Someone had called home and I had the misfortune to answer the phone. She asked to speak to my mother and I didn't bother asking the person on the phone who it was and I rudely said wrong number, mum doesn't want to speak to anyone and banged the phone down. A week later the same lady called up my mum and she turned put to be the AUNTY. What ensued was so not very good.

The 2nd incident took place 9 months ago. Auntie called asking to speak to my mother. But unfortunately for me, my mum was at her workplace. I told the auntie so. Then feeling that it would be polite on my part to make some polite conversation, I casually asked her, "How is Uncle?"

Auntie just paused for what seemed like an eternity and then heavily answered, " It's been 4 years since Uncle left this world beta." Oh shoot, I could have bitten my tongue right there and then. I apologised as sloppily as I could and kept the phone and went and fumed in my bed. How could I have asked such a question? When I told mum about this she was ready to whip me and my sister actually rolled on the floor laughing.

Now henceforth, I have decided to steer clear of this particular Auntie. It's dangerous territory.

Any ways coming back to the point-I like weddings, I love the people who are getting married, I love dressing up and going for weddings. I don't like what happens to me at weddings.

The key event

It was the 19th of July, a day before my birthday. It was a Sunday and the reason for dressing up and going out was my teacher's wedding who is now going to the US of A for her doctoral studies. Anyways, the point is that me and 3 friends were dressed up in all our finery and after the wedding I had the brilliant plan of spending some time at Sarasbaug.

While on the overbridge

We had to cross an overbridge to go to the park and I was clicking some shots of the park and the distant hill. All this while I was holding my big, huge bunch of keys in the forefinger of my left hand. While getting down the steps I took a couple of close up shots of my keys and now too I am at a loss as to what prompted this strange behaviour from me. I had no inkling about what was to shortly follow.

 The 2nd shot

When we reached the park, Patra dragged us off to see the 'big' and 'huge' fishes in the stinky, dirty and muddy pond. We oohed and aahed at the site of the tadpoles, baby fish and the 'huge' fish in the pond and then marveled at the pitiable state of the pond.

I was in my element and was madly trying to capture the films on my camera and I shifted to another spot to get a better angle-right at the water's edge. Patra came next to me and at that exact moment I was trying to click 3 fishes swimming backward. She showed me something in the pond and what happened next was a nightmare. The instant I clicked the fishes, my keys just left my forefinger and splashed into the pond in front of my stunned eyes. I was speechless and I was for a minute oblivious to my friends exclaiming around me. After I found my voice I just kept muttering 'Oh Shoot!', 'I'm so dumb!', Oh crap!'. What a fix I had landed myself into! I just kept staring tat the spot hoping that somehow magically the keys would emerge out.

The fishes, my downfall

We ran to the watchman's cabin and narrated our plight to them. Those idjits turned out to be the most unhelpful bunch of slobs that I had the misfortune to meet. One had the audacity to suggest that I forget about the keys and go home, one asked me to come the next day because the person who could get down in the water hadn't come that day. One idjit, curling his lip at us, asked us to enter the water. He very well knew that doing that would be impossible given our attire. I could have clawed him. And then they asked us to ask any balloon-seller to help us with our predicament.

I found one seller who asked his friend, who just asked us about the spot where the keys fell and got into the water. The water was knee length and boy was it sickeningly dirty! His legs turned with the cake of slush. He dipped his hand into water and got out a variety of trinkets-a hair band, a bracelet, wrappers and black coloured mud. So many things but not the keys. He delved his hand again but was yet again unsuccessful. He did a third time, fourth time, fifth time and still no luck. Now I was panicking and was all set to enter the water. Patra kept telling me to shut up and to behave myself.

A big crowd had gathered by now to watch the proceedings and one man came up and told me superiorly that the minute he saw my keys fall into the water, he kept his in his pocket. He too had been dangling his keys dangerously close to the water. One little boy asked me, “ Khup bhari model cha phone hota ka?” I was aghast and I just shook my head wildly at him.

All this while the man kept hunting for the keys haplessly. Patra then said something that drove my heart stone cold and which I think will make me shudder for a long time to come- “Pranietha, just thank God that it was your keys and not the camera that slipped out of your hand.” I could do nothing but just curse at my foolish, awful habit of holding the keys in my forefinger.

The man then sent his two brothers to the watchman's cabin asking them for a metal trough to sift through the water and mud. But those idjits were reluctant to help and to our chagrin they presented the boys with a bamboo 'tokri'. The man clenched his teeth at the apathetic attitude of the watchmen.

20 minutes had elapsed since the man had got down into the pond. The water had also become turbid and we now feared that the keys might have moved away from it's original spot. My heart was clenched like a fist. The man was all set to come out but my friends begged him one last time to check near the railings. The man complied with our request and put his hand once in the water once again. Heart-throbbing we waited and then he got his hand triumphantly out of the water. The shine of the silver was unmistakable. My keys were back from the depths of murky and dark waters and the entire crowd heaved a collective sigh of relief.

The man rinsed the keys and returned them to me. After he came out of the water, I gave him a 50 rupee note and he refused to accept it. Relief mixed with exasperation, my friends were all set to knock him down. But the man turned us down and finally I told him that it was to be my birthday tomorrow and he had to accept it. He just wished me a 'Happy Birthday' and was ready to go. The crowd instead of dispersing were now looking at us with amusement. Then we tried to give the money to his brothers who also refused and they kept looking at their brother for cues. Finally the little boys could no longer contain themselves and we gave the money to them.

My mood did take an upward swing after this but I could still feel a tight fist clenched across my stomach. The loosening up took a long time and my friends helped me cheer up by pretending that we were part of some loony show. Nevertheless, the thought of the pond with those 'big' and 'huge' fishes gives me the jitters and makes me want to go hide my face into the ground like an ostrich.

The book, the said friend and me!

CAUTION--LONG STORY AHEAD. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

It all began when my friend asked me to lend him Linda Goodman's Sunsigns. I lent it to him gladly, thinking that he would return it within a week. This was in August 2008. Well things didn't turn out the way they were supposed to and the entire episode culminated with me turning as red as a beetroot right up to my boot!

So I met this said friend of mine at Peppinos-a joint on F.C. Road, a week after I lent him the book. However, my friend's brain is wired to be in a state of permanent absent-mindedness. He is a hopeless case and there is no cure for him. Even he knows that and agrees whole-heartedly with me. Since I expect promtness, I was anticipating the return of my book by him that day. But he plain forgot. I not quite forgave him but the I let the matter at rest and decided to take it from him next time I met him. Like I had a choice.

And so the days just kept passing and the pages flipped till the month of May 2009 and this is where the crux of the story lies. It was time for the said friend to leave Pune for his hometown. I received a number of calls from many of our common friends to meet up before he leaves. But yours truly was stuck in a whirlwind of exams to study for to fulfill the requirements of obtaining admission to a decent post graduate course. And so the ever elusive time was never on hand. I prefered staying at home and directing other friends to collect the book from him. Messages were passed, messages were exchanged and everything was set. Well no, not really.

One fine day the entire group decided to meet and I stayed put at home. The said friend was to deliver my book to another friend (1) who was to meet me the next day. And so next day dawned and my friend like Santa Claus delves into her bag dramaticaly saying, ''I have something for you."

Now I am exceedingly fond of presents and so I clap my hands only to be presented with Linda Goodman's Lovesigns. Alas for my childlike joy!! The said friend's brain didn't work right and thus was presented with the wrong book. I used some choice words on him but had to limit them owing to the fact that my mother was beside me. The day had just got worse. I promptly dialed his number but I was instead told that the subscriber was out of coverage area. What crap!

Called up another friend (2)and after exchanging pleasantries as quickly as I could, I asked her if she could somehow get in touch with the said friend and somehow wangle my book out of him. She said yes but she didn't know how she would do that as the said friend was leaving the next day and she had no means of getting in touch with him a he had very kindly quit using his phone. So the net was the only way of establishing contact with him.

Next day dawned and I met another common friend (3) online and asked her to give me directions to the said friend's accommodation. She tried but I was at a loss because the said friend stayed at a place where I have seldom ventured-Model Colony. And thus so I was armed with crude directions.

I found myself in the whereabouts of Model Colony at 12.30 p.m. No balance in my phone. I reached the BSNL Office and went round and round a couple of times. Couldn't follow the directions my friend had given me. Tried new routes but they were all in vain. Yet I was calm. Tried going in different directions and landed up in the same place thrice! Then I messaged my friend (1) asking her to call me back. I waited and cursed around for some more time. I reached some shops hoping to recharge my phone but none were available of my Service Provider. So I called up friend (3) asking her for directions again but I was successful in getting confounded again and while speaking to her friend (1) called. Friend (1) claimed to know the directions much more clearly than friend (3) as she was fortunate enough to visit the said friend at his accommodation just the day before to collect my book. She gave my a new set of directions. I revved up my bike to retrace this path now and I again landed up at the BSNL Office. Now oh boy was I panicking or not!!

I finally reached some place which I imagined to be a paying guest accommodation. This I assumed is where my said friend stays. And I even spotted a tailor's shop opposite the apartments which curiously shared my name. Taking this as a good omen I thought that I have finally reached my destination. I stopped a passing lady and asked her if this is a PG Accommodation. She said sorry (?) and that these are quarter for LIC employees. She asked me the name of the person I wanted to meet and I gave her the name and she old me that he lived in one of the bungalows on my right but right now he must be in office.(????????)

I backed out from there and started on my search yet again.

Friend (3) called me up again after 15 minutes to find out my progress. None had been made whatsoever. She volunteered to locate him online and convey my dilemma to him. It was a tiny sliver of hope. Meanwhile she sent me packing on a new set of directions. It was 1.45 p.m now. Inching towards clocking 90 minutes since I had first set out on my task. I vroomed up my bike this time with my jaw set. It had to be now or never.

Splutter splutter. To my increasing disbelief, I found myself in some shady place with not so nice looking strange men giving me even stranger looks. Oh Good Mother of God. Why oh why did I ever manage to get myself in this scrape. Really truly, I'm an awful person!

And then my phone sang. It was the said friend. Oh what joy! Rapture! Never had I been ever so glad to hear his voice. He was genuinely concerned about my antics and promptly asked me to meet him. Gladness overtook every feeling I possessed. “Where?” I asked, “do you want to meet?”
“Why the BSNL Office of course” he replied. Well at least that was one place that I knew oh so very well. He said that he would be there in 5 minutes. Swell I said and zoomed off.

Friend (1) called me up then and told me that she was successful in locating the said friend and delivering my message to him. I could have kissed her. She said that it was a stroke of luck that she had found him online. Later the said friend explained that he was helping his friends move to different locations all across Pune. "Social service?", I inquired of him. He said hesitantly," No. Not quite. I'm hoping that if I help them now they'll come and see me off at the station today evening." He he.

I reached BSNL Office and the said friend was already waiting there for me with my book. He had returned another friend's book to me and that other friend thought that the said friend had already returned his book to him. (Confused? So was I). And so I had been stuck with the wrong book and the other friend thought the has his book which he actually doesn't. Like I said my said friend is absent-minded. He had somehow managed to convince his other friend that he had returned the book to him. Story ended? Not quite.

We had a lot to speak about. The usual stuff about admissions, exams, the meanness of professors, the smartness of students et al. And thus we spake for quarter of an hour. And then it happened- A shooting loud noise started emanating from somewhere close by. It was a screeching alarm and a handful of people shot out of the BSNL Office. We thought it was a fire alarm and we looked around interestedly. The sound was deafening to the ears and we could speak no more. One man ran towards his car thinking the burglar alarm must have set off. He checked the horn, under the booth, over the booth, locked the car, unlocked it but still couldn't figure out the source of the alarm. The said friend and I pitied him and resumed our conversation at a slightly higher pitch now so that we could make ourselves be heard. And thus another 15 minutes passed. The mad guy was still going over his car and I thanked my stars that it had nothing to do with me.

Then after much time had passed, some men walking past me told me that I was leaning against my bike's horn and so I was the source of so much shrilling noise and anguish. I had left my keys in the ignition. The mad guy came running towards me and started going over my bike. And then he grinned and said, “ I thought the sound was being made by my car. But now I see that your bike was causing the sound.” I grimaced and felt the blood rush up to my face and the mad guy was so happy at not being thought mad anymore. Oh I could have hid my face anywhere, anywhere but there. And it didn't help when my said friend said that even he didn't realise that the horrible sound was coming from my bike. Soon a crowd gathered and they pointed at my bike and I was utterly shamefaced. My said friend was staring down at me nonchalantly. I wished he would have said something, done something, at least laughed. But he didn't. And after the crowd dispersed he blandly resumed his conversation. Now my heart was not set in talking and I was still mighty embarrassed. After another quarter I hurriedly waved him goodbye and a happy journey and he told me conversationally, “ Don't go leaning on your bike's horn anymore, go home safe.”

Well!

Characters-
Said Friend- Anirudh Venkat who shares my love for books.
Friend (1)- The great Anushree Kogje. I can trust her with absolutely anything in this world.
Friend (2)- Ishani Bose. Sweet and charming-as always.
Friend (3)- Mahalakshmi Ganapathy. Never fails to help and one person whom I know for sure I can rely on.

Sunday at the Market

When I was small, Sunday used to be a grand affair to which I would look forward to with great gusto. Sunday mornings with entail a visit to the 'Bhopla Chowk'- the Market Place at Pulgate also known as the Khadda Market since it is placed in a huge khadda.


It would be a thrilling start to the morning watching mom haggle with the sellers which would make me wonder whether I'll ever be able to bargain with her finnese. The most delightful part of the outing would be when the sellers would present me with a jack fruit or a grape or a cut mango piece hoping that by enticing me with these goodies I would influence mom to do the needful of stocking up her fruit basket.


I remember being dead scared of the free-willed cows that used to totter around the market place. My heart would get set in my mouth while mom would be busy. I would keep one eye on her and another on the look-out for those terrible cows.


Once mom entrusted me with the responsibility of guarding a few heavy bags while she shopped some more. She left me at a corner and left. I was frightened without her. The cows seemed stranger that day. I looked up and down for mom but she still seemed very far away. One bag had all the greens stocked up in it and this proved to be a luring factor for the cows and before I could gather my wits and move out from there, 2 cows were near me and eating away at the spinach and the fenugreek bundles. I tried to shoo them away but my efforts did not bear fruit as they looked dangerous to me. They ate away the greens and went their way and left a very sorry faced kid with an empty bag. Mom didn't tell me anything. She knew that I tried in spite of being scared.


Over the years I quit being frightened anymore. I started viewing the cows with bemusement. They still roam about freely foraging for food out of bags. I'm careful now.


Last Sunday I paid a visit to the market after a very long time. Previously I'd started dreaded accompanying mom to the market as it would eat up into my valuable time of lazing around. But this time it seemed different. It was raining heavily, the market-place was slushy mixed with mud, rotten vegetables, dung, people and the perfect market racket. It was a typical Sunday at the market. Nobody bothered or cared though. Everybody was accustomed to it. People were just set on their job on hand. I counted each and every step I took.


The mango seller gave me a piece of mango to taste. The jack-fruit seller insisted that I eat his jack-fruit. I laughed at them and then at myself. I felt nice. It's nice that these things don't change.

Food World

I can't believe that eating is making me so happy. I'm packed off to class with a huge lunch box comprising of 3 tiers + 1 accompaniment tiffin box + 2 more tiffins that make up my short lunch.


The major weight of my bag is now because of these eatables that I carry. My bag became so heavy that finally it started tearing at the shoulder seams (and it being a Reebok bag). I really carry a lot.


I'm usually the 1st one to commence eating in class and the last one to finish -always. During the lecture onslaught, I'm plagued with dreamy thoughts of the yummy goodies packed in my lunch and so usually when it's time for lunch I can't wait to start eating. Since I'm a good eater; meaning I eat slowly to squeeze out all the taste out of the food and to relish it all the better I don't have any option but to be the last one to finish my food.



My love for eating always turns the conversation during lunch to food. It's all about how nice that feeling is when one is full. I, at least derive immense contentment when I realize that I'm finally stuffed with grub. It makes me very happy thanks to the various hormones released because of the chow that I've consumed. I feel at peace with everybody and then the sarcasm thrown at me by my companions seems to bounce off my full belly with relative ease.


It's getting to be very embarrassing now since my friends finish their food way before me and then they wait for me albeit in a very impatient manner clucking their tongues against their teeth indicating their increasing annoyance at my habits. Their actions dilute the happiness a bit but then ultimately who the hell cares. I'm happy and packed.


But now I'm wondering about this sudden craving for food. I've always been a great fan of ingestion but lately I seem to have taken up my standards to new and higher heights. I'm eating like never before. I tried my hand at analyzing this sudden behavioural change in me and could not pin down any good excuse.


Eating is making me very glad- so does this mean that I'm actually sad? Food is what my world seems to revolve around these days. The only good thing I believe is that at least the food doesn't stick to my body. I'm still providentially slim if not thin. But then I really wouldn't care if I add some pounds to my body. I'm eating as long as it makes my happiness more and more fat.

Sleep Fighting

I'm sitting in class waiting eagerly for the lecture to draw to a finish. I feel dumb and listless, too lazy to even look at the numbers indicating time change on my phone.


Just 8 more torturous classes to attend and then...But no I won't be free of this blighting madness. College reopens the very next day. Talk about living a painful life.


I can think a number of a number of interesting things that I could have accomplished if it hadn't been for these classes which seem highly logical and relevant during the lectures but now they seem to dumb even to pen down.


My eyelids are becoming heavier and heavier, I'm fighting off the sleep as valiantly as I can, the teacher's sonorous voice becomes a soothing dull lullaby. I can't sleep right under the bloke's nose. That won't do at all. (Try as I might, I'm not punctual enough bag a seat on the safe back-benches and so I'm confined to the recesses of the 1st bench which, by default is always under the teacher's nose).


The dust from the board covers my table and so to keep myself awake I try blowing it all out on the teacher's face. This task sees me awake for 3 minutes maximum. I try nodding my head but I realize the futility of it and cease immediately. (Nodding provides a pleasant rhythm and brings on sleep faster).


The fan above my head makes a sleepy sound as it whirls in the heat. I can feel that my scalp is wet with all the sweat. I can't make sense of what the teacher is telling us. All I want is to lie spread-eagled on a bed.


Now I can't help it anymore, I just shut my eyelids for an extra-long blink. The blink turns into a wink but but but they don't turn into 40 winks. Just as I feel my head drop off on the bench I start, shudder and come back to wakefulness.


Now I'm as alert as a leopard waiting on it's hunches for it's prey to walk past. Yes I'm finally awake. The teacher ignores me but now starts talking about how sad it is too sleep in class. He/She /It knows about my struggle with the sleeping fairy.


More half hour for the lecture to get over and history repeats itself.

Adventure 1

Returning home at 10.45 a.m from my French Class. Driving. Everything is fine with the world- well almost. Encounter a signal. Closely miss the green light. Nuts and peanuts! The world ceases being fine from this moment onwards and it's over to being not fine. Phone rings. Uh oh! Struggle to get it out of my pant pocket. After a lot of cursing and heaving I finally manage to separate the phone from it's cozy environs into my hands. After a lot of heaving and exclaiming and cursing, I finally manage to separate it from my cozy pocket into my hands. My phone blinks innocently at me. Then I realize that I'm supposed to answer it. I squirm in the sunlight to see who it is.

Sister. Uh oh! Uh oh! I hope that I haven't done anything wrong. Why is she calling me? Fearfully I answer the call. Her tone sounds pitiful. She's asking for help. Something about her bike. It's broken down. I thank God that I didn't break it down. It's okay I tell her. Bike breaking is nothing new for her bike. It just adds more experience to her bike's years. This comment doesn't go down well with her. She wants me to go help her.

Yippee!! I'm her knight in shining armour. Here's a God given opportunity to utilise my super powers and prove to her my worthiness. "Coming Sis!", I exclaim. "Just mind yourself and your bike till I come" She just cuts the phone. "Rude" I say to myself. Maybe next time I'll teach her some manners.

The signal changes to green. I hurriedly send my phone back into it's cozy pocket, kickstart my bike and zoom off. I'm a girl on a mission now. Task-Bail out sis from worhtless bike.

Ufff. Ufff. Ufff. Just when I have to zip super fast all the world wants to drive like a snail. Honk honk. Peep peep. Don't stare weirdo. Look in the front. Grrr-Move away doggie. It's not your day today. Grrr- Mad dogie. "Shoo", I tell it; "Bow-wow", it tells me. I stick my tongue out at it and again zoom away before it gets any weird idea of doing anything to me. It was apparent that it was thinking along those lines by the way it bared it's teeth at me. "Silly doggie", I mutter.

Finally I reach my sis. Even she looks like a lost doggie. "Miaow", I tell her. She tells me to shut up again. I wink at her. She looks ready to strangle me with her bare hands. I give her one last miaow along with my bike. She takes it and goes away.

Me- I hobnob to the bus-stop. I find a bus that would take me home. I find no place to sit. So I plonk myself in the middle of the bus thinking about miaow's and bow-wow's. The bus then gets stalled in the middle of a terrific kissan mixed fruit traffic jam. I decide to figure out life. While I play around with my figures, they decide to collapse. An insect pops into my head. Go away insect. Insect doesn't go. So I decide to locate the reason as to why the insect has come into my head. Search search. Not insect but wallet. Search. Urrff! Bow-wow. Miaow. Miaow. Search search. Wallet search. Search over. No wallet. What to do? What to do? Conductor coming nearer and nearer. Shoo away conductor. Conductor just stares with mild surprise. What to do? I decide to get down before I'm forcefully evicted. I get down. Peoplae stare at me. I stare back at them. Damn! Now I'm more lost than ever.

Then new insect pops into my head. My sis too must be stuck in the kissan mixed fruit traffic jam. Run run. Pant pant. Run run. Don't look people. Mind your own business. Aaah! There I spot my sis.

Hi I tell her,

I'm in need dear.

She asks no question,

Just increases my tension.

It's money that I need,

So give it to me please.

She starts her ranting

While I do the panting.

She shoves a 20 into my hand

And I come out of my trance.

I tell her bye

And she tells me that my brain's a fly.

Fly fly fly. I'm a fly. I want to fly in the sky. No my brain's a bly. It flies. I don't. Ufff.

New mission- Find bus to go back home. Search search. Difficult quest. Bus seems to have disappeared. No wait. Found it. Get into it. Feel happy. Oh shoot! Wrong bus. Get down. Get down again. Search search. I'm in tears now. Uh ho! Traffic is no longer a jam. It's jelly. It's moving. Search search. Eeeeeee. Here it is. Waiting for me. Right where I'd left it. I grin at it sheepishly. Uh oh. Uh oh. It's moving, it's moving... With an almighty cry I heave myself onto the bus. Relief floods me as I stumble but land safely. I hear people sniggering and laughing at me. Conductor hands me the ticket with a wicked knowing twinkle in his eyes. He's laughing at me.

I give him a weak grin and decide to figure out life again.

It's All About Hmmm's

Most of my friends are in their first year of engineering. Everything is totally new to them and surprisingly even for me! It is so difficult to stop them when they start talking about their puffed up miseries and blown up tragedies! They bore my butt off. Nevertheless, I’m expected to sympathise with them because I’m their friend. It’s excruciatingly painful man, really tough.
A sample conversation goes on something like this: -

Me-How u doing man?
Them-Don’t ask yaar, life sucks big time man. Sorry man I couldn’t call you but I’ve been so damn occupied with my work.
Me- yeah?
Them –ya, you won’t believe it yaar. They (the teachers) have all lost it yaar, they are squeezing the hell out of us man. They’re driving us up the wall with their sick test and stupid submissions and the good old bloody assignments.
Me-Hmmm….
Them-And you know I’ve got 5 tests in the upcoming week and so many submissions. When do I complete them all? I’ll have to bunk some lecture to finish them. And then if I bunk some lecture, there is the never-ending problem of attendance.
Me-Hmmm…..
Them- It’s just all crap man. And the exams yaar, I don’t know a single thing. Each chapter is nearly 70 to 80 pages long. How do I do it all? There are 5 papers man. This Graphics is so tough man. The only bright spot is that it’s not there for the first- semester exams. That’s really a relief.
Me- Hmmm…
Them- Ya. And arrey I forgot to tell you only yaar. This teacher is there na and I don’t know what he’s got against me yaar. I couldn’t complete one submission on time so I went later to give it to him and then he just blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…. I was nearly in tears and then you know blah blah blah blah blah blah blah………..
(I’ve gone to sleep by this time)
The blahs continue all the same. I chance to get up suddenly to still find them blahing their way to glory or maybe to blah-blah land. I get back to my stupor, praying for some respite. And then suddenly there is silence at the other end
Them-Hello. Are you listening?
I rescue myself just it time
Me- Ya ya. You go ahead man. That really must have upset you yaar. It’s okay man.
Them-Ya man it was utterly the most miserable time of my life and so as I was saying blah blah blah blah (pant) blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (pant pant) blah blah blah.
The panting and the wheezing and the gasping for air are the funniest part. However, sadly for me none of them believe me when I tell them that they do it. (The wretches)
So anyways, I’ve got myself a mind- numbing job to do for 4 years. It’s easy now talking in monosyllables. Come to think of it, it’s just saying the hmmm’s in the right place at the right time. I’m a good listener you know.