This is not a diatribe

I protest. Strongly. A low comedy played out today and it was too absurd even to evict any emotion resembling laughter. Our final presentations were scheduled today and a person no less than our very own HOD walked in to evaluate the students. After months of intense hard work I was looking forward to the presentations because I was looking for feedback on my work and it was an opportunity to share my experiences with my classmates.

My presentation was the first one that she evaluated. I was expecting a fair and critical analysis from the evaluators with concrete suggestions that we could incorporate in our work in the future. But what transpired was very different from my expectations.

It all started because I had essentially carried out research in the social sciences and the HOD has a chemistry background fortified by the rigors of laboratory work and being buried under piles of unnecessary paper work.

But that shouldn't make a difference, should it? Inspite of being from a pure science background, she could have been more open to the fact that research in social science is possible. She refused to believe that data in social science is generated by talking to people, by taking into account people's perceptions and relying on independent observations. Why else would it be called a 'social' science then? Her eyebrows were in danger of disappearing into her hair when I informed her that I generated primary data by interviewing people. Why else would it be called primary data?

She expressed extreme surprise, astonishment and dismissed my entire work because I spent only 21 days doing field work. How could I explain to her that I encountered conditions where I had to eat food infested with rat shit and cockroaches and that some nights I went without food as I was too disgusted to eat the crap anymore? But I am digressing here. Why does the number of days that I spend on field matter as long as I collect data that is reliable and proves my hypothesis right? It is immaterial whether I spend 10 days or 30 days. All the days of walking for 10 kms everyday for long hours in the sun boiled down to this. The quality of the time spent should matter and not the quantity.

She was also disbelieving of the fact that I conducted 50 interviews and that each interview consisted of nearly 200 closed and open ended questions. She expected me to list all the questions on the slides that I had prepared. Really now, come on!

According to her, I spending 21 days on field for my work is very less because a period of 6 months is granted to us. Just to make it clear- we are granted only 4 months out of which the major chunk is spent in conducting a literature review, working out and managing the logistics of the field visit, scheduling interviews, framing relevant questions to be included in the questionnaire and analysing data.

Another problematic area was the classification of my respondents. I had used the standard method of classification where respondents are grouped in categories based on the amount of land that they possess.

Large Farmers: >10 acres

Medium Farmers: 5-10 acres

Small Farmers: 0.01-5 acres

Herders

Landless

This is the protocol followed in my field of interest (watershed development). She said that this kind of classification is wrong because a farmer cannot be large, medium or small in the real sense. Really madam, your quibbling over semantics exposed your pettiness and your scientific approach. Pray,  where is the logic?

And it is not just about me. When another student gave her presentation, our HOD was disbelieving that Self Help Groups are formed by NGOs in areas where watershed development projects are carried out to bring the community together. Her ignorance can be forgiven but not her arrogance.

She was keen to drive home the point that conducting a thesis out of the University is an exercise in futility as students end up having a gala time outside their homes. Sorry, this did not hold true in majority of my classmates. We got an opportunity to step out of the hallowed precincts of our department and explore the world outside. Unfortunately she sees that as a waste of time and now has scrapped this system for our juniors who will be expected to conduct their projects under faculty (which is virtually non-existent and the few that are there are incompetent) who are all from the chemistry background. They will be expected to perfect their skills in titration, BOD and COD estimation, chromatography and the like. Now I don't have anything against laboratory work. I myself come from a pure science background and I just discovered my calling pulling me in another direction. But I believe that our HOD needs to wake and understand that research in pure science and social science is complementary to each other. Research is but not limited to sitting for long hours in the laboratory where one has to prepare chemicals and medium, autoclave and sterilize instruments, incubate microorganisms, etc. She dismissed the fields of anthropology, history and ethnography in a wave of her hand. She believes that what people say is not does not come under the realm of hard and verifiable facts. Of course she doesn't know that there are certain methods used in social science to verify what people say. Like I said, her ignorance can be forgiven.

To be fair, there was another evaluator who despite being an ecologist asked me fair and pertinent questions about my work. She was neither judgmental nor did she have any preconceived biases against the social sciences. She interrogated me in a way that could be called real defense. My close friend gave her presentation before mine in which the HOD was not present and even she had conducted her research in the domain of the social sciences. This evaluator was fair to her too and asked very pointed and relevant questions. 

This is not a personal vendetta against our HOD. It is just a ranting by a frustrated student who is caught is the grasp of people who come from a peculiar mindset that looks down upon the social sciences. It speaks volumes about the encouragement the department provides when people try to do something other than spending time in the closed and controlled conditions of the laboratory.

I will be giving a seminar shortly where I work and I believe that this will be where that I will be truly evaluated. The faculty here come from varied backgrounds but they are not dismissive about other fields. They listen and understand and encourage research from all fields. It is progressive while my department seems to be stepping into the middle ages with their initiatives of scrapping the policy of conducting projects outside Pune. She thinks that we have wasted our time having 'fun'. Stepping out of my department have opened up new avenues for me. I have learnt what it means to work in the field of academics and it was like a breath of fresh air after the unnecessary hurdles of slow and lumbering pace of work of our department.

And this wasn't true only for me. I being from a city decided to spend 4 months of my time someplace else all because of the opportunities that open up when one is out of one's comfort zone. There are some people in my class who come from rural Maharashtra and they worked in institutes like ISRO and it has done wonders for their confidence.

However, our HOD is quite determined to believe otherwise.

All is not all right in this world and the injustice rankles. I wish that I could proudly state that I have done my Masters from this department. But even I am determined to believe otherwise.

And so I rest my case.

The Rajasthan Chronicles-Day 1( The train journey)

Seems just like yesterday that I boarded the Pune-Jodhpur Express. I had marked out the train route and had finished fantasizing about the stations that the train would be halting at. Mum had warned me for what seemed like umpteen times, "Don't you go around doing a Jab We Met on the railway stations." I sulkily gave in and scanned the stations from the window.

The train journey was memorable.We didn't have confirmed seats and so 2/3 people shared 1 seat but we didn't even care. Sleeping was the last thing on our minds. We all were just glad to be together. We jabbered away with our neighbours - one old uncle and aunty with awesome child-like enthusiasm about our trip. They were terribly kind and considerate towards all our noise-making activities and cheering and the drop-ins by our friends who were scattered throughout the train.

We started the card games at 11.30 in the night and continued them well past 1 a.m. Most of the time was spent learning one eff-all game called 'Mendikot'. I couldn't for the life of me remember this game though I was nagged by the feeling that I have played this game before. I had 3 friends all giving me explanations and forcing me to listen to them and not to the other person. Really awful. Somehow after what seemed like ages I got the hang of the game and played it well :)

Then I decided to give my wanderings in the train a rest and found an empty berth to sleep on. And oh yes now I remember the biting cold brrrr. I was chilled to my bones and twisted and turned to find a warm spot on the cold berth. Gloves, socks, sweaters, sweat-shirts notwithstanding, the cold made me shiver all through the night.

At 3 a.m. I went to welcome a friend who was to board the train at Surat. It was jolly well good to see her- She had all the tasty grub with her :)

I then found another empty berth after that because the old one was occupied by one surly chap from Surat who cast an annoyed glance at us as soon as he saw us huddled together on one seat. A couple of my friends stayed awake and kept chattering all through the night. They kept up a non-stop chatter and this made the Surat man even more angry. He kept scolding my friends but they didn't seem to care. At around 5 a.m. I was rudely awakened by my friends with the flash of the camera. I joined in the giggling and by this time each and every member of our group was awake giggling and laughing.

The surly Surat man could take it no more and called us the most uneducated bunch of people and that we have studied just too much and so we were keeping up this noisy racket all through the night. I felt he was right. I wouldn't have liked it if I were disturbed when I wanted to sleep. After the mega-scolding he gave us we all promptly went off to sleep and strangely, it was the best sleep ever. We woke up refreshed and the surly Surat man thankfully left.

The rest of the journey was pleasant and was slightly marred by a classmate who tapped my friend on her head, put his finger into my ear and pulled another friend's nose and hugged him. Decided then and there that we have to stay away from this weirdo.

As we neared Jodhpur, we spotted plenty of doves, flamingoes, peafowl, spotted deer and chinkaras. It was a lovely welcome and so exciting to spot them foraging freely beside the tracks. The peacocks trotted with a charming gait and I was mesmerised. For the first time in my life I was seeing them in such huge numbers!!

We reached Jodhpur in the evening and were put up at Beniwal Palace. Dinner was a seedy restaurant called 'Ghar Angan Bhojnalay'. We were busy posing for photographs outside the restaurant and not so very nice men tried to act smart with us. Even while walking back to the hotel some men on bikes tried to upset us-but on hearing our ma'm scream they escaped. Learned that it's not safe to go wandering at night alone. North is really unsafe for girls-even in groups.

Reached the hotel and slept like a log.

Roacher Pics

Click here to see Roacher and the cockroach.

P.S. It's not for the fainthearted. I couldn't eat my fish for dinner after I clicked these pictures.

Lizard's Breakfast!

The morning got off to an interesting start today. I opened my eyes from deep slumber to a sound that seemed as if a bird was trapped and was fluttering it's wings in desperation in a bid to escape. I thought that I was dreaming but when the sound persisted I had to get up and play detective.

I first checked my window to make sure that no bird was trapped there. Pigeons usually visit my window as it gives them a good perch. While I was checking I felt that the sound was coming from inside my wardrobe. I thought that to be very very strange. No bird could land up inside the wardrobe. And curiously enough, the sound seemed to be emanating from way inside the wardrobe. "Ghost bird"- I muttered.

Then I heard loud thuds from the wardrobe. I really thought at this time that the bird is going to die. Then some intelligence visited me and I shifted the wardrobe a little. I was expecting to see a tiny bird there but lo! behold! what a sight awaited me!!

I was shocked and being drowsy, initially I thought it was a snake. After my eyes adjusted to the darkness this is what I made out.

A house-lizard facing vertically downwards with a cockroach halfway into it's mouth!! The lizard banged itself against the wardrobe to push the cockroach into it's mouth. The eyes of the lizard glowed eerily black and then red. I scrambled to get my camera but couldn't capture the sight. After 10 minutes the lizard turned itself vertically upwards and incessantly opened and closed it's mouth. I could see a part of the cockroach coming out and going in.

Anyways my camera started working later and I got a potshot of the lizard now digesting the cockroach.

The lizard is on the back of the wardrobe, the white part is the wall.

little BOY BEGGAR

Begging is to request a donation in a supplicating manner. Beggars are commonly found in public places such as street corners or public transport, where they request money, most commonly in the form of spare change.

This particular beggar that I encountered was a 7 year old, filthily attired in torn clothes, unkempt hair...the usual normal child beggar we spot everywhere. A small 4 year old child clutched his hand and kept up a continuous wail. He was obviously his brother. I had just halted at the Pulgate Signal due to the red signal. As more and more vehicles accumulated at the signal, the elder beggar child jumped into action. He half-dragged, half-pulled his brother towards the vehicles.

They hurried off to a Toyota Innova. The two men sitting inside recoiled at the sight of them. The beggars pounded on the door and window of the car, they tried to open the door and both set up a shrill cry. The man in the car unrolled the window, at least one part of the battle was won by the beggars.

The man then surreptitiously removed a coin from nowhere and fingered it in his fingers. The beggars hadn't seen this and had by that time increased the volume of their shrill. It was pounding my ears though I was with my helmet on. The man handed oven the coin to the boy and within a flash rolled over his window again.

The beggar thankfully received his coin and then stared at it for a very long time and then the scream that emanated from him surpassed all the previous screams. He now banged at the door of the car with an infuriating shriek that his kid brother was startled into silence. And then I realised the meaning of the scream. The coin which the man had handed over was a 50 paisa coin. All the boy's labour, was in the worth just 50 paisa. His tiny fists pummeled the window but the men inside did not relent. The little buy clutched the coin tightly in his hand, then opened his fist to look at it one last time and making sure that the men were looking at him he held it up and then with bitterness in his eyes he threw the coin down and then departed. The signal now turned green.

I can't yet figure out where my disgust should lie. With the men or with the beggar.

---- ---- ----- ---- ---- ---- ----

Yet again, another blast.

Yet again, lives lost in a senseless and mindless task.

Yet again, more bereavement.
Yet again, churned grief, anguish and torment.

Yet again, more cliched political commentary.
Yet again, a day for them (the fanatics) to make merry.

Yet again, time for political parties to raise their hackles.
Yet again, time for people to cry and wither behind shackles.

Yet again, more probes.
Yet again, lost hopes.

Yet again, another day. And yet again, another blast.
Tomorrow is another day. So yet again, another blast.

A Letter

One of my best buddies is currently studying engineering in one of the most wretched places (that is what she thinks). Yellow and brown are two colours that she hates with a lot of gusto. It’s no use reasoning with her because she is mental. Period. When she was a little girl she used to abhor the sun because of the above mentioned reason.

A letter I wrote to her in hopes of cheering her up-
“Hi Ducky,
Let’s pretend for some time that everything around you changes to yellow and you are the only brown person with huge chunky Gold ear-rings alive in the universe. The people and animals around you have yellow hair, yellow teeth, yellow saliva, yellow snort, yellow pimples… you get the idea don’t you?
(I hope I have grossed you out, ha)
Ah so, then because you are the only brown person alive, all the people decide to wage a war against you to terminate you, so that no yellow man falls for your brownie charm and then both of you produce yellow brown hybrids(kids). That would be a catastrophe for the yellow people the yellow people don’t want that happening, coz you are somebody who would make their race impure.
But… you are the most slickest brownie alive. (this is because you have survived up till now). You don’t want to die coz it is your duty to populate the yellow earth with yellow brown hybrids coz it is the only way that you can achieve ‘Brown Nirvana’ and the Brown Gods would elevate you to the position of ‘SUPREME BROWNIE OF YELLOW BROWN HYBRID RACE’.
Now power means everything to you and you won’t stop at anything to meet your goals.
So now you have survived so many upheavals, what do you do?
Simple, you do yellow meditation! And by the powers granted to you, you temporarily turn yourself into a yellow being. You embrace the yellow people and tell them that you are actually one of them.( But only I can see through your plans, you slimy brownie).
Anyways, the yellows welcome you top their fold and you become one of them.
AND THEN----------
You start producing yellow brown hybrids.
The yellows now realize that you are actually an imposter, so they all come running behind you with yellow swords. But the Brown Gods realize that you are in danger and at that moment the yellow heavens open up and you rise upwards in a swirl of yellow dust.
And thus, you meet your goals and become
‘SUPREME BROWNIE OF YELLOW BROWN HYBRIDS’
You now achieve ‘Brown Nirvana’ and thus live in a bliss of yellow and brown, governing your yellow brown hybrids.
Thus your ultimate yellow brown fantasy got fulfilled.
OK now you can stop pretending that you are brown and the rest of the world is yellow. Instead you can pretend that sunflowers are growing out of your hair. He, he.”

I think my friend is going to hate me for the rest of my life.