Adventure 1

Returning home at 10.45 a.m from my French Class. Driving. Everything is fine with the world- well almost. Encounter a signal. Closely miss the green light. Nuts and peanuts! The world ceases being fine from this moment onwards and it's over to being not fine. Phone rings. Uh oh! Struggle to get it out of my pant pocket. After a lot of cursing and heaving I finally manage to separate the phone from it's cozy environs into my hands. After a lot of heaving and exclaiming and cursing, I finally manage to separate it from my cozy pocket into my hands. My phone blinks innocently at me. Then I realize that I'm supposed to answer it. I squirm in the sunlight to see who it is.

Sister. Uh oh! Uh oh! I hope that I haven't done anything wrong. Why is she calling me? Fearfully I answer the call. Her tone sounds pitiful. She's asking for help. Something about her bike. It's broken down. I thank God that I didn't break it down. It's okay I tell her. Bike breaking is nothing new for her bike. It just adds more experience to her bike's years. This comment doesn't go down well with her. She wants me to go help her.

Yippee!! I'm her knight in shining armour. Here's a God given opportunity to utilise my super powers and prove to her my worthiness. "Coming Sis!", I exclaim. "Just mind yourself and your bike till I come" She just cuts the phone. "Rude" I say to myself. Maybe next time I'll teach her some manners.

The signal changes to green. I hurriedly send my phone back into it's cozy pocket, kickstart my bike and zoom off. I'm a girl on a mission now. Task-Bail out sis from worhtless bike.

Ufff. Ufff. Ufff. Just when I have to zip super fast all the world wants to drive like a snail. Honk honk. Peep peep. Don't stare weirdo. Look in the front. Grrr-Move away doggie. It's not your day today. Grrr- Mad dogie. "Shoo", I tell it; "Bow-wow", it tells me. I stick my tongue out at it and again zoom away before it gets any weird idea of doing anything to me. It was apparent that it was thinking along those lines by the way it bared it's teeth at me. "Silly doggie", I mutter.

Finally I reach my sis. Even she looks like a lost doggie. "Miaow", I tell her. She tells me to shut up again. I wink at her. She looks ready to strangle me with her bare hands. I give her one last miaow along with my bike. She takes it and goes away.

Me- I hobnob to the bus-stop. I find a bus that would take me home. I find no place to sit. So I plonk myself in the middle of the bus thinking about miaow's and bow-wow's. The bus then gets stalled in the middle of a terrific kissan mixed fruit traffic jam. I decide to figure out life. While I play around with my figures, they decide to collapse. An insect pops into my head. Go away insect. Insect doesn't go. So I decide to locate the reason as to why the insect has come into my head. Search search. Not insect but wallet. Search. Urrff! Bow-wow. Miaow. Miaow. Search search. Wallet search. Search over. No wallet. What to do? What to do? Conductor coming nearer and nearer. Shoo away conductor. Conductor just stares with mild surprise. What to do? I decide to get down before I'm forcefully evicted. I get down. Peoplae stare at me. I stare back at them. Damn! Now I'm more lost than ever.

Then new insect pops into my head. My sis too must be stuck in the kissan mixed fruit traffic jam. Run run. Pant pant. Run run. Don't look people. Mind your own business. Aaah! There I spot my sis.

Hi I tell her,

I'm in need dear.

She asks no question,

Just increases my tension.

It's money that I need,

So give it to me please.

She starts her ranting

While I do the panting.

She shoves a 20 into my hand

And I come out of my trance.

I tell her bye

And she tells me that my brain's a fly.

Fly fly fly. I'm a fly. I want to fly in the sky. No my brain's a bly. It flies. I don't. Ufff.

New mission- Find bus to go back home. Search search. Difficult quest. Bus seems to have disappeared. No wait. Found it. Get into it. Feel happy. Oh shoot! Wrong bus. Get down. Get down again. Search search. I'm in tears now. Uh ho! Traffic is no longer a jam. It's jelly. It's moving. Search search. Eeeeeee. Here it is. Waiting for me. Right where I'd left it. I grin at it sheepishly. Uh oh. Uh oh. It's moving, it's moving... With an almighty cry I heave myself onto the bus. Relief floods me as I stumble but land safely. I hear people sniggering and laughing at me. Conductor hands me the ticket with a wicked knowing twinkle in his eyes. He's laughing at me.

I give him a weak grin and decide to figure out life again.

Resurrection

So I'm back after a 2 year long hiatus. Decided 2 start writing once more. Words flow more easily now. Times changed, people changed and so did I. Two years is definitely a very long time. I grew up and grew down too.


Hell, I went to the moon, got drunk, lost my heart to a certain Mr.M, and I never even got it back again. A major bumper ride. Really swell. And I'm still stuck on the moon. Torn between the desire to stay and yet to come down back once again.


The moon taught me to be happy. And boy was it tough! The first lesson and the last lesson were to learn to smile and now I can't stop smiling. It makes me so content.
And how do I tell Mr. M goodbye?What if I stop laughing then? Mr. M doesn't know that others taught me to smile but he taught me to laugh.

A Letter

One of my best buddies is currently studying engineering in one of the most wretched places (that is what she thinks). Yellow and brown are two colours that she hates with a lot of gusto. It’s no use reasoning with her because she is mental. Period. When she was a little girl she used to abhor the sun because of the above mentioned reason.

A letter I wrote to her in hopes of cheering her up-
“Hi Ducky,
Let’s pretend for some time that everything around you changes to yellow and you are the only brown person with huge chunky Gold ear-rings alive in the universe. The people and animals around you have yellow hair, yellow teeth, yellow saliva, yellow snort, yellow pimples… you get the idea don’t you?
(I hope I have grossed you out, ha)
Ah so, then because you are the only brown person alive, all the people decide to wage a war against you to terminate you, so that no yellow man falls for your brownie charm and then both of you produce yellow brown hybrids(kids). That would be a catastrophe for the yellow people the yellow people don’t want that happening, coz you are somebody who would make their race impure.
But… you are the most slickest brownie alive. (this is because you have survived up till now). You don’t want to die coz it is your duty to populate the yellow earth with yellow brown hybrids coz it is the only way that you can achieve ‘Brown Nirvana’ and the Brown Gods would elevate you to the position of ‘SUPREME BROWNIE OF YELLOW BROWN HYBRID RACE’.
Now power means everything to you and you won’t stop at anything to meet your goals.
So now you have survived so many upheavals, what do you do?
Simple, you do yellow meditation! And by the powers granted to you, you temporarily turn yourself into a yellow being. You embrace the yellow people and tell them that you are actually one of them.( But only I can see through your plans, you slimy brownie).
Anyways, the yellows welcome you top their fold and you become one of them.
AND THEN----------
You start producing yellow brown hybrids.
The yellows now realize that you are actually an imposter, so they all come running behind you with yellow swords. But the Brown Gods realize that you are in danger and at that moment the yellow heavens open up and you rise upwards in a swirl of yellow dust.
And thus, you meet your goals and become
‘SUPREME BROWNIE OF YELLOW BROWN HYBRIDS’
You now achieve ‘Brown Nirvana’ and thus live in a bliss of yellow and brown, governing your yellow brown hybrids.
Thus your ultimate yellow brown fantasy got fulfilled.
OK now you can stop pretending that you are brown and the rest of the world is yellow. Instead you can pretend that sunflowers are growing out of your hair. He, he.”

I think my friend is going to hate me for the rest of my life.

It's All About Hmmm's

Most of my friends are in their first year of engineering. Everything is totally new to them and surprisingly even for me! It is so difficult to stop them when they start talking about their puffed up miseries and blown up tragedies! They bore my butt off. Nevertheless, I’m expected to sympathise with them because I’m their friend. It’s excruciatingly painful man, really tough.
A sample conversation goes on something like this: -

Me-How u doing man?

Them-Don’t ask yaar, life sucks big time man. Sorry man I couldn’t call you but I’ve been so damn occupied with my work.

Me- yeah?

Them –ya, you won’t believe it yaar. They (the teachers) have all lost it yaar, they are squeezing the hell out of us man. They’re driving us up the wall with their sick test and stupid submissions and the good old bloody assignments.

Me-Hmmm….

Them-And you know I’ve got 5 tests in the upcoming week and so many submissions. When do I complete them all? I’ll have to bunk some lecture to finish them. And then if I bunk some lecture, there is the never-ending problem of attendance.

Me-Hmmm…..

Them- It’s just all crap man. And the exams yaar, I don’t know a single thing. Each chapter is nearly 70 to 80 pages long. How do I do it all? There are 5 papers man. This Graphics is so tough man. The only bright spot is that it’s not there for the first- semester exams. That’s really a relief.

Me- Hmmm…

Them- Ya. And arrey I forgot to tell you only yaar. This teacher is there na and I don’t know what he’s got against me yaar. I couldn’t complete one submission on time so I went later to give it to him and then he just blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…. I was nearly in tears and then you know blah blah blah blah blah blah blah………..
(I’ve gone to sleep by this time)

The blahs continue all the same. I chance to get up suddenly to still find them blahing their way to glory or maybe to blah-blah land. I get back to my stupor, praying for some respite. And then suddenly there is silence at the other end.

Them-Hello. Are you listening?

I rescue myself just it time

Me- Ya ya. You go ahead man. That really must have upset you yaar. It’s okay man.
Them-Ya man it was utterly the most miserable time of my life and so as I was saying blah blah blah blah (pant) blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (pant pant) blah blah blah.
The panting and the wheezing and the gasping for air are the funniest part. However, sadly for me none of them believe me when I tell them that they do it. (The wretches)

So anyways, I’ve got myself a mind- numbing job to do for 4 years. It’s easy now talking in monosyllables. Come to think of it, it’s just saying the hmmm’s in the right place at the right time. I’m a good listener you know.

It's All About Hmmm's

Most of my friends are in their first year of engineering. Everything is totally new to them and surprisingly even for me! It is so difficult to stop them when they start talking about their puffed up miseries and blown up tragedies! They bore my butt off. Nevertheless, I’m expected to sympathise with them because I’m their friend. It’s excruciatingly painful man, really tough.
A sample conversation goes on something like this: -

Me-How u doing man?
Them-Don’t ask yaar, life sucks big time man. Sorry man I couldn’t call you but I’ve been so damn occupied with my work.
Me- yeah?
Them –ya, you won’t believe it yaar. They (the teachers) have all lost it yaar, they are squeezing the hell out of us man. They’re driving us up the wall with their sick test and stupid submissions and the good old bloody assignments.
Me-Hmmm….
Them-And you know I’ve got 5 tests in the upcoming week and so many submissions. When do I complete them all? I’ll have to bunk some lecture to finish them. And then if I bunk some lecture, there is the never-ending problem of attendance.
Me-Hmmm…..
Them- It’s just all crap man. And the exams yaar, I don’t know a single thing. Each chapter is nearly 70 to 80 pages long. How do I do it all? There are 5 papers man. This Graphics is so tough man. The only bright spot is that it’s not there for the first- semester exams. That’s really a relief.
Me- Hmmm…
Them- Ya. And arrey I forgot to tell you only yaar. This teacher is there na and I don’t know what he’s got against me yaar. I couldn’t complete one submission on time so I went later to give it to him and then he just blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…. I was nearly in tears and then you know blah blah blah blah blah blah blah………..
(I’ve gone to sleep by this time)
The blahs continue all the same. I chance to get up suddenly to still find them blahing their way to glory or maybe to blah-blah land. I get back to my stupor, praying for some respite. And then suddenly there is silence at the other end
Them-Hello. Are you listening?
I rescue myself just it time
Me- Ya ya. You go ahead man. That really must have upset you yaar. It’s okay man.
Them-Ya man it was utterly the most miserable time of my life and so as I was saying blah blah blah blah (pant) blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (pant pant) blah blah blah.
The panting and the wheezing and the gasping for air are the funniest part. However, sadly for me none of them believe me when I tell them that they do it. (The wretches)
So anyways, I’ve got myself a mind- numbing job to do for 4 years. It’s easy now talking in monosyllables. Come to think of it, it’s just saying the hmmm’s in the right place at the right time. I’m a good listener you know.