Whose Side are you on?

I just finished reading a piece on activist research, which got me thinking back to the fieldwork that I conducted last year. Activist research is where the lines between being critical and being involved get blurred. For example, is it possible to remain a detached, passive observer in a situation? Should the researcher attempt to advocate changes that they as an outsider feel are necessary? Can a researcher take sides in an issue, and yet write about it in neutral and objective terms? If a researcher does take a stand, the credibility of the researcher as a scientist is at stake.

Last year, I was studying the power dynamics in villages in North Karnataka. While in conversation with the high caste farmer (who also hosted me), I found it difficult to digest some of his views such as that people from a lower caste have less intelligence, they do not understand 'important' things, and it's better to leave them alone than include them in dialogues because they do not have anything important to contribute. I tried to just listen to this argument, but could not resist from pointing out that as the lower castes have never been given a chance, how could they even contribute to any dialogue in the village? However, this was me as an outsider aligning myself with the marginalized. This then reflected in all my dealings with the people in that village. I tried to distance myself from any biases that I may possess, but I could not but be astounded at the extent of subordination that people from the lower castes and the lower classes have to face.

As this farmer became aware about my views about the marginalized, he kept directing me to the rich and large farmers. He said there is no use talking to the lower castes, as they do not know the answers to the questions you are asking. The point was that I was not seeking answers. I needed to know whether the marginalized are aware, whether they know what was happening around them, did they seek a platform where they could talk freely without feeling constrained under the eyes of the powerful people of the village.

At one meeting with just the landless women of the village, the anger and the resentment of the women electrified the air. They spoke about exploitation at the hands of the large farmers who did not pay them the market rate for their labour, informal contracts of labour that saw them put in long working hours with meagre compensation in return. Whenever the ladies would speak about this, my host would scold them, and ask them not to trouble me by talking about irrelevant topics.

The meeting with the landless women

Without realizing it myself, I had subconsciously taken sides with the marginalized. Now too, the research for my dissertation will be taking a normative stand, advocating for greater involvement and participation of the marginalized in development programs. After reading the piece on activist research, and having taken classes last quarter on the role of science, I have realized that it is very difficult to separate one's biases from research. Everyone has a view, a bias, an opinion, which is very hard to shrug off. What makes a good researcher is that one should be aware of any opinions that they might have, which could influence their research. While researchers end up taking sides, it is also necessary to critically evaluate one's position and views so that the audience knows where you are coming from. 

Spring-Studies-Someday...

Afternoon classes make me lazy, as I have the whole day devoted to doing nothing. I can mull over things, sleep, stalk people, or just stare at the computer. This is the dark side of things.
OR
I can work hard, read up the literature, finish my proposal, finish up pending papers and reports, and catch up on my writing.
As it is Spring, I too will spring up and try to accomplish the 2nd half. Maybe then I will be on the bright side of it all.

Let the light be.
Let the scent of the spring be.
If I could catch it and put it in a box.
But then the charm would be missing.
And so, we shall make merry while spring lasts.
And forget the sounds of the winter gone by...

Madhuri Madness

It started innocently, as usual. Out of the blue, my sister suggested we watch Ram Lakhan- a Subhash Ghai film. Each scene, and each dialogue which was uttered in all its seriousness, saw us both rolling in peals of laughter. Jackie Shroff is hot in this film, and Anil Kapoor does a good comic act. Its astonishing to see Madhuri in this film. She has nothing to do except to play the poor, silly village belle. I liked her in this song though, and besides I was also eager to see the chemistry between hairy Anil Kapoor and Madhuri.

After having a wonderful time with Ram Lakhan, we decided to see the dhak dhak film. Beta. Madhuri is beautiful again. But the dhak dhak dance makes you want to squirm in your seat, which is supposedly known as Madhuri's hottest song. The film actually sucks, and is, truly, one of the lowest points in Hindi Cinema. The acting is vulgar, and Anupam Kher is sick. To think that these stalwarts once had to make do with roles like these.

But Madhuri's magic refused to die. I then decided to move on to her Kathak in Devdas. When she dances in Kahe Ched Ched Mohe, her beauty and grace seem surreal. She is sublime, heavenly, and luminous. One can go on watching her then, and drown in her smile. There is enchantment, there is a dream, and one doesn't mind being captivated. Sharukh has played his part well in the song, and I love the way he starts when Madhuri says 'issh', reminding him of his lost love. The torment on his face is vivid. I also love the way Madhuri teases him at the beginning of the song.

What I do in Graduate School

I like my vacation. It's been a nice break from the daily 7.00 am to 1.00 am routine of the past Winter Quarter. Winter Quarter was one of the most hectic schedules that I've ever had in my life. At the outset, I thought that I wouldn't survive. I was miserable in the cold, and I was struggling with the course load. Over the quarter, I realized that I was doing a great job of juggling the coursework. Of course, it also meant that my social life was zilch. But, I'm getting used to this part of being a graduate student. However, when the grades for the assignments started coming in, my first thought was, "Whoa! This cannot be me." I wasn't sure if I was getting the right grades because they were all really good. I started hanging up the assignments on the wall above my desk to remind me that I am capable of turning in good stuff.

The time when I really struggled was during the first take-home examination. It was for a course titled 'Theory Building in Human Dimensions in the Social Sciences'. This was a very tough course taught by 3 professors, and we were 6 students in the class. The student-teacher ratio was perfect. This turned out to be the most fulfilling course in the end. The exam tested our knowledge of science, theory, trade-offs in research, designing proposals, surveys, experiments, and case studies. Answering each question was very, very traumatic. I felt that a part of me was dying after every answer. The end of every answer would see me holding my head in the deep recesses of my bed, shivering under my quilt (no exaggeration). I felt that I had turned in a very shoddily done exam, and was feeling like Gollum. At the end of the class, when we received our scores for the paper, I was in for a pleasant surprise. My score was superb, and the paper was littered with 'well dones', 'great jobs', and 'goods'. I was thrilled that day. I will always cherish that feeling because it tells me that I have the potential to do good work.

Now, I am turning in some tables for my advisor's research. I conducted around 30 interviews throughout December and January, and now we are writing up a report for our Lab. The interviews were about stakeholder perceptions of watershed planning in three watersheds in Ohio, and what they think they learned from it. Having studied watershed development in India, the differences between the planning processes in India and the U.S. are of course vast. This is one of the themes that I will be researching for my dissertation. Topics of participation, equity, and sustainability are what catches my eye these days. I have just finished the first draft of my proposal, and have to begin the second draft incorporating the tremendous amount of feedback that I have received from my professors. I hope to finalize my proposal during the Spring Quarter, and then in the Summer I hope to hunt for interesting cases in India to study. There is a lot of work to be done. However, through the last two quarters, I now know that I can do it :)